An End to the Agony
by Senatoris Imperatoria
Summary: What if Hopper and El were reunited in private? What if he kept her secret? What if the reunion between Mike and Eleven didn't happen? Somehow he would need to end the pain, but will everyone catch on too late? This is a Season 2 AU. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255


**(AN) I do not own Stranger Things or any related media, characters, or trademarks. This is a work undertaken entirely for my own satisfaction and the enjoyment of readers.**

 **I'm not forgetting about my other stories, but this is something I felt compelled to write and publish this piece. Please read the following warning before you proceed.**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, ACTIONS, AND INTENTIONS**

 **DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DEALING WITH IMMEDIATE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR DEEP DEPRESSION.**

 **NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255**

 **Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this story. (A/N)**

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 **An End to the Agony: Day 365**

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It had been a year since El vanished from his life, and Mike Wheeler had dealt with the pain and anguish that came with their forced separation. Things had become progressively worse throughout the year—improving slightly during the incident with the Mind Flayer. Now it had been more than a week since Hopper had somehow closed the gate; everyone supposed that Dr. Owens had something worthwhile up his sleeve after all. It was no secret that Mike had become depressed and undergone a significant personality shift over the past year, but no one had realized how deep the chasm in the boy's heart stretched.

After seeing that his friends and family were safe again, Mike returned to his daily cycle: school, arcade, call Eleven, repeat. After a few days he even stopped giving Max a hard time about joining the party; the girl was thankful but confused. For the past three days though, Mike had not been at school or the arcade. He stayed home under the pretense of illness; his mother was too stressed to question this obvious tactic.

* * *

Sitting in the basement, Mike spoke into his Supercom yet again: "Hey El. It's day 365. It's been a year since I lost you. Lucas might have been right before when he told me you weren't coming back. I've been hoping he was wrong. That hope has kept me going this year, but I guess I was mistaken. I miss you, El. Please give me a sign if you're still alive. Please! Please! I just need to hear you." Pausing and letting the silence fill the air for a few moments, Mike continued: "I'm sorry I failed you El. I failed to keep my promises to you and I'm sorry. There's no one left who needs me, and I couldn't even keep you safe. I'm sorry, El. I'll see you soon, though. I'm coming, El. I don't know what I'm going to find but if it's you or oblivion, I'll be better off than I am right now. I'm coming; just wait for me a moment longer." Mike set down the communication device and folded the antenna in. Placing it neatly inside the fort, he stood and picked up a pen off the game table. He wrote a quick note in shaky print: "I love you all. Please forgive me, but El is waiting for me on the other side. I'm going to find her now. I'm so sorry for the pain I've brought over the last year. It ends today. Goodbye." He signed: "Mike Wheeler, paladin oath breaker." Setting down the pen and paper on the table, Mike moved over to the couch and picked up his father's gun from where he left it and cocked the weapon in his hand.

* * *

Mike had no idea, but El was listening to the entire call through the Void. She quickly realized what he planned on doing and reached out with her hand. Never had she been able to use her powers through this place, but she had never been this motivated. When she saw her favorite person in the whole world lift the deadly device to his head, she ushered more energy than she had ever used before. The entire cabin shook and several of the windows burst as she narrowed her focus on the firing pin. She was beginning to tire when she saw the conviction overtake the boy's features. Utilizing the last ounces of her strength, she made the pin fly off the gun and glide across the room. The last thing she saw in the Void was Mike pulling the trigger and looking distraught at the lack of results.

* * *

Hopper had been eating lunch at the kitchen table when he felt his entire cabin begin vibrating and heard windows shatter. He knew immediately what the cause of this commotion had to be. Leaping up from his chair, the Chief pushed his way into his daughter's bedroom right as she keeled over from exhaustion. He noticed the blindfold over her eyes and began formulating a guess at what had happened. "What's going on, Jane?" the man asked.

"It was Mike! He was going to shoot himself! He said goodbye to everyone and promised that he was coming for me. He was going to die! He was going to die!" she sobbed. Hopper looked back at the girl in shock. She proceeded to tell him of the entire event she had witnessed—not skipping a single detail. "What if he tries again?" she asked at the end of her story. It had just dawned on her that the boy was not out of danger yet.

"Can you look for him one more time? I know you drained yourself, but we need to know where he is," Hopper asked gently. It was coming over him in waves that Mike had suffered more than anyone else knew, and that it was his fault in many ways.

"I'll do it. I'd give my life to save him," El said quietly. Hopper realized at that moment that she wasn't exaggerating. Neither of them had been exaggerating their devotion to each other. She put her blindfold back in place, and reentered the Void. After a few moments, she gasped and pulled the piece of cloth off. "The quarry! He's going to the quarry! The place he jumped off before! The place I saved him! You have to stop him! Please! I don't have enough power to do it again. Please. Please. Please," the girl said—begging at the end.

"I've got it, El. I'm going to him right now. I promise you I'll bring him back to you. I kept you apart for too long. I'm so sorry," the man trailed off before running to his Blazer. He knew that there was very limited time in which to ask.

* * *

Hopper drove faster than he had ever done before. He knew that a kid's life hung in the balance—two kids if he was being honest with himself—and he couldn't even contemplate the idea of another Hawkins child in harm's way. Reaching the cliff edge, the Chief saw Mike Wheeler emerging from the forest. The Blazer slammed to a halt; Hopper didn't want to startle the boy this near to the edge. After getting out of the vehicle, Hopper could hear the Wheeler kid talking: "I'm coming El. I messed up the first time, but nothing can break here. It's almost funny that I failed you again, but this time I'm going to make my promise happen. We're gonna be together again." He began walking forward, now only a single away. Hopper could see the boy was preparing to do it. Mike Wheeler was going to throw himself over a cliff.

"No kid! Stop!" Hopper yelled while leaping forward and tackling the boy to the ground. He heard a loud thud and soft moan come from the thin boy beneath him. Hopper pulled himself up before lifting Mike onto his feet and away from the cliff's edge. The boy thrashed momentarily in Hopper's arms while trying to dash back to the cliff; eventually Mike gave up. The Chief wrapped his arms tightly around the youth and rubbed gentle patterns into his back as the boy began to sob. Hopper whispered softly into his ear: "It's okay kid. It's okay. I've got you. Please just stay with me. Don't do this, Wheeler. I need you to breath. Breathe calmly. I've got you."

Mike continued to sob hysterically before he went entirely still: "You don't understand, Chief. I don't want to be okay. I can't keep going without her. I'm just too tired of everything to keep going." The man only held the boy close to him—the feeling of guilt was crushing his own heart. He knew his reasons for keeping Eleven out of harm's way were sound, but he also knew that he had made a big mistake not bringing Mike into the fold.

"I'm so sorry kid. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry," Hopper breathed into the boy's hair. The kid looked up at him with broken eyes that made even the hardened Police Chief want to sob.

"It's not your fault, sir. I was too weak to protect her, and I deserve this. I broke my promises; there's no way around that. I'm the one who's fault this all is. Now I'm too much of a failure to end my own pain. I can't help anyone—not El, not my friends, and not even myself. None of this is your fault, sir," Mike stuttered out at length. Hopper felt himself cringe inwardly as he heard this child spiral things that weren't his fault into suicidal guilt. The look of respect the kid gave him every time he tried to alleviate his guilt only made Hopper feel worse. He knew that he needed to tell the boy everything; no more secrets.

"No; it's not your fault Mike. It really is my fault. I've lied to you for a year now, and I have to tell you the truth," Hopper started. The Chief proceeded to tell Mike everything: about finding El, her growing powers, her actions during the Mind Flayer episode, and everything else. Throughout the entire story, Mike seemed to shrink further into himself and his tears gave way to a swirl of unreadable emotions. Once the information had been completely conveyed, Mike simply sank back to the ground—Hopper moved to follow him—the boy made eye contact with him before making a single utterance.

"You kept us apart this whole time. She's still alive. She's," Mike trailed off as the swirl of hurt, agony, betrayal, and confusion in his eyes faded. Hopper tried to find the words to comfort the boy, but before he could say anything the kid passed out. He couldn't handle the shock that had been forced upon him.

* * *

Hopper drove back to the cabin and carried the boy through the forest. He stopped at the library on the way, so he could call Karen Wheeler. The Chief told the woman that he couldn't give her the details, but that her son was alright and would be with him for a couple of days. When he caught sight of the cabin, Hopper knocked and waited for his daughter to answer. She opened the door and caught sight of the vulnerable-looking boy in her adoptive father's arms. "Mike!" she shouted. "Is he okay? Did he hurt himself?" she queried desperately.

"The kid's alright; at least, he's physically fine. I told him everything. I couldn't keep lying to him anymore; he deserved the truth. It was a lot to process, so he passed out. I brought him back here because he really needs to see you," Hopper said. The girl only nodded before dragging the man and the boy in his arms over to her own bedroom. Hopper laid the boy on the bed and El sat down next to him—her hand moved lovingly across his hair and cheek.

* * *

Mike woke up groggily nearly two hours after he passed out in the woods. Coming back to consciousness, everything he had been told returned to the forefront of his mind. Shooting up from his sitting position, he noticed he was in a bed and shouted "El!". The girl in question jumped at the sound of her name, and after seeing how panicked the boy looked she focused on him—freezing him in his thrashing. Mike looked confused at his inability to move, but before he could become frightened El entered into his view. A single tear slipped from his eye before she unfroze him. "El," Mike said as softly as the girl had ever heard. She walked over to him before he threw his arms around her and began to sob. "It's you. It's really you. I've missed you so much more than I could ever tell you. I tried to call you; I called every day for three hundred and," Mike began before being interrupted.

"Three hundred and sixty-five days; I know—I heard you. I listened to your calls Mike and I saw what you tried to do today too. Please don't do it Mike. Promise me you'll never leave me. Please," El interjected.

"I promise, El. I'll never leave you if I have the option. I can't even tell you how it makes me feel to have you with me again. I thought I had failed you; I thought I had broken all of my promises. I couldn't go on without you," Mike said with passion.

"I'm here Mike. You didn't fail me and you did all you could to keep your promises to me. No one else has ever loved me like that. I could barely continue without you either—I can't imagine how it must have felt when you don't even have the Void," El responded. Mike moved to deepen the hug between them, and he placed a gentle kiss on her head. The two of them sat silently in their embrace, the pain of the last few months ebbing off of them until it faded away. They were together again; that was all that mattered. Their worlds were back into alignment and nothing would ever pull them apart again.

* * *

Night had fallen and the sun had risen again before Hopper dared to interrupt the two kids in the cabin. They had slept there together; embraced as if someone was trying to tear them apart. Hopper felt the guilt rise back into his throat as he glanced at the two small figures. He began to fix Eggos for breakfast—he didn't know what else to do. Thus, he turned around in surprise when the two walked out of El's room hand-in-hand. Even though the Wheeler boy was taller than his daughter, he had never seen the boy look so fragile. Clearly, the previous day and the months preceding had taken their toll on him. His girl—on the other hand—had never looked so fiercely protective. The two sat down at the kitchen table and Mike turned his red-rimmed eyes towards Hopper. The look in his eyes was difficult to discern: a mixture of anger, sadness, distrust, and—despite everything—respect. That last feature made the man falter before setting down the waffles on the table. "I'm so sorry, kid. I don't know if you can ever forgive me for what I did to you both, but I really am sorry," Hopper said softly. His daughter only glared at him for a moment before turning a worried and endearing glance back towards the boy at her side.

"I believe you. I know that you didn't want things to get this bad, but it's very hard for me move on right now. I've respected you ever since that week when Will went missing. You were so brave and so strong—I really believed in you. It hurts to know you kept this from me for a year, but for some reason I still respect you. I think I can forgive you. I'm not at that point yet, but if you'll be patient with me I can get there," Mike said sincerely. He then paused before adding: "Thank you for keeping her safe. I would have liked to have been a part of that, but you protected her. Thank you, Chief." Hopper looked back at the boy in shock; he hadn't expected that as a response. Anger or disgust would have made sense to the Chief, but this boy wasn't letting either of those rule him.

"I'll wait as long as you need. Everything's on your terms right now; I owe you that. I need to go out for a while. Your mother and friends saw your note in the basement; they've been worried about you. I was able to satisfy them with reassurances, but I think a personal visit is necessary. I'm going to tell your mom about everything that's happened. It's time for her to know; two of her kids are too deeply involved for her not to be informed. Joyce will help me with that. Can I leave the two of you here for a little while? I promise I'll come back before you go to bed; I promise. Will you two be alright here?" Hopper rambled off.

"Yes; we'll be fine. We understand," El said after seeing the boy next to her nod silently.

"Look out for each other, alright?" the Chief asked. They both nodded before El turned and grabbed Mike's collar tightly. Pulling him in, she planted a full-fledged kiss squarely on his lips. Pulling back, she grinned slyly when the boy blushed and emanated a flustered stutter. Turning back to Hopper, the look she gave him was framed as if to challenge him to disapprove. The man didn't have the heart to object to either of them being as close as they needed to be right now. They were good kids.

"We will," El said resolutely. Hopper believed them instantly. He went to the door and made sure to lock it before leaving. There was only one thing Jim Hopper was sure of as he drove to his tasks: those two kids in the cabin were his responsibility and he would make sure that their agony was ended permanently.

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 **(AN) I hope you enjoyed this story, and please leave a review with your thoughts and reactions. Any feedback is welcome! Don't forget to take note of the message contained here: no matter how dark things get, there is always hope just around the corner. Never give up.**

 **NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE: 1-800-273-8255—PLEASE SEEK HELP IF YOU NEED IT.**

 **Thank you for reading this story, and check out my other stories if you liked the writing. (A/N)**


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